Wish to go back to the time ...

Wish to go back to the time ----
when "Innocence" was "Natural"
when "Getting high" was "On a swing"
when "Drinking" meant "Rasna Orange"
when "Love" was "Mum's hug"
when "Dad's shoulder" was "The highest place on Earth"
when your worst "Enemies" were your "Siblings"
when the only that could "Hurt" was "Bleeding Knees"
when the only "Broken" things were "Toys"
when "Goodbyes" only meant "Till tomorrow"

Damage done @ work.

My manager and me were leisurely talking about several things.There came a topic about the different companies offering Internet services..I had no clue what service I had at home..I know a bit about Comcast service b'cos of the good cable TV service along with internet they provide..We had that service for quite sometime when we first moved to Detroit..He asked abt how the present service is..I blabbered..By then he/I shud have changed the topic. The next question was abt the bandwidth..I shud have told 'No Idea', but crazy me said -some 5 or 20 Mbps - He said that is the speed..All I could hear in myself is 'RUN Sahasra RUN'..Anyways running wudn't hv helped..I have to face him the next day even if I ran then...

Damage Done - Sneakers

Back drop - I was already late for my Doc's appointment.Ravi was waiting in the car..

I saw Ravi's sneakers at the very moment,picked them up in a spur and ran into the car..In the hospital, my male OB arrived after 15 mins wait in the exam room. When I laid on the bed, he complimented saying 'nice sneakers'..I just said 'thanks'..I wish I had a chance to run from him ! The sneakers were quite obviously male version...Damage done..next time I shud make sure to go in my sneakers...

I wish I were...

I wish I were a magic slate, just keep the fond memories and wipe off the bad ones...

First quater of 2011

Life seems to be highly unpre tdictable in 2011.I am enjoying it thoroughly(going with the flow).To start with, we decided Dallas would be our last destination before we settle in India.We moved Dallas last year by chance rather by choice.In Dec 2nd week, Ravi got a fulltime offer in AA..The travel benefits were awesome but there are no paid vactations first two years which sucks and limits the usage of travel benefits..In the meantime he had two weeks c'mas vacation. He updated the resume and posted in dice to see how the market was..The two weeks were the best.We spent quality time together,frnds visited us, had a blast in the new year party. I won in Bingo which is quite surprising..After the holidays, life was back to the grind..We totally forgot abt the dice posting..In the second week, He got a call from some NY consulting firm..He attended the call, looks like he is the perfect fit for the position..He gave it a try and cleared the first two rounds. He got another opportunity in Dallas, he attended the interview and cleared it too. In the meantime, my brother was visiting us, so I was busy preparing fhr his visit. He attended both the interviews and succeeded. Now we were put in a dicey situation..We had good time with my brother.He left to SAC. Now we had to decide whether to stay in Dallas with hot dry weather or move back to east coast.We bought everything from scratch, new furniture, washer & dryer...Once again I switched into anxiety mood, it was always Ravi who takes correct decision in the correct time, I just follow him..He opted NY position as the job has scope to learn new skills.. We asked them 4 weeks time to settle things in Dallas and plan for our cross country move..Jan flew very fast with uncertainities, opportunities..Feb was a stressed out month..I had to talk with my adamant apartment maintenence staff regarding the lease breach, sell the furniture & other stuff. My MSc buddy visited us for one weekend..we had nice time with her family..Finally we sold most of the stuff we planned to except for car. We started on Feb 25th, our 3 day car journey(around 1800 miles).The ride was a pleasant experience. We crossed Kentucky, the first state we stayed in US, Memphis,my cousin's place.The memories flashed back, and we talked about the first year of our marriage, sweet nothings, how immensely our bonding together grew..We reached Albany on Sunday night around 8pm as expected..The whole drive was scenic - it started with dry arid spring lands and ended with snow mountains...In the meantime, Raja's match was fixed and his engagement was on March 12th..my parents wanted me to be on the occasion.I stayed for 6 days and left to India on March 6th leaving Ravi all alone by himself...Seperation anxiety, leaving him in a new place - I felt I am a bad wife and scoffed myself several times. I flew on March 6th and reached Vizag on March 7th. I saw YS Jagan, ram naidu and his wife, and Siddharth in the airport..The next 6 days was full of shopping, Jetlag..The engagement went well..I liked Raja's fiancee..Now I am busy with shopping..but a guilt stuck me that I left Ravi in a new place and came to enjoy..Though he was not feeling the same, I complicate my life with the nuances and make myself miserable.You might as well know me by now by reading my past posts...

Last two years, I am a part of someone's happinesses..I want to hear one good news soon.Please god, be with me,hold my hand and lead me through the success door without
any disturbances.

Emotional pangs!

My confidence hit rock bottom!!! No guts to move forward. How can I be calm when my life is choatic? Please god, make me bold to deal with it and come out of it in peace and harmony..It seems like I am not happy anywhere. All of a sudden, I feel I am a loner amidst my parents and relatives..

Moving again!!!

Ravi got a job in Albany,NY. We are moving on Feb 25. I was anxious about the whole move - breaching the apt lease, selling 6 months old furniture, washer & Dryer, one of the cars, packing and cross-country drive(1700 miles). It was overwhelming and unexpected, moving back to East coast again. I felt like a nomad all of a sudden. It took us more than a week and finally decided to take this as an adventure.

I put ads of all the furniture, car and washer & dryer in craigslist. I sold washer & dryer y'day and today I sold the sofa set. They just took the set. Now that sofa set gone, I could feel the emotional rush. Though I had very bad experiences in Dallas, still leaving a place is emotional.